Haikus — 34 observations
Short form
Single idea.
One watch, one argument.
1
Breguet / Vacheron
Heritage as a Cage: Breguet and Vacheron
Heritage is an asset until it's the only thing you sell. Then it's a cage.
2
Audemars Piguet · Royal Oak Offshore
Same Octagon, Different Half-Life
Same octagon, same screws, same brand. One ages slowly and one doesn't, and the reasons are [the three things that make any design timeless]…
3
Industry
Why Some Designs Are Timeless
Why are some designs timeless?
4
Omega
Omega is going through a renovation, not a collapse
The internet has decided Omega is in trouble. It has mistaken a renovation for a collapse. Read the last few years properly and you find the…
5
Rolex · GMT-Master II Pepsi
Deicide - why Rolex discontinued the Pepsi
There is a word for the killing of a god, and this April in Geneva, Rolex committed it - deicide.
6
Industry
Establishment versus Independent
Establishment vs. Independent — what each brings to the wrist
7
Omega · Constellation
The Claw Watch Nobody Queues For
Every serious brand keeps two kinds of watch. There is the hero — the one with the waiting list and the auction record. And there is the sou…
8
Patek Philippe
An Objective Way to Settle It
Here is an objective way to settle it.
9
Jacob & Co
Where the Scream Should Die
The scream you want to make at a Jacob & Co is nouveau riche. Hold it for a second, because the same scream would have condemned [the Royal…
10
Rolex · Daytona
Drive Carefully Me
Drive Carefully Me. Not a slogan. A woman saying come home, in the only place she could put it.
11
Industry
Reverence Is Downstream of Use
A watch you're afraid to scratch isn't being worn — it's being babysat.
12
Audemars Piguet · Code 11.59
The Code 11:59 never stood a chance - a hero asks for no permission
The Code has become genuinely good. The early dials are gone; the ceramic chronograph, the Starwheel, the flying tourbillon are serious piec…
13
Patek Philippe · Nautilus
Take the Watch Away
Patek retired the 5711 at the peak of the largest mania in modern watchmaking. Then it began emptying the line out. Precious metals. Small n…
14
Audemars Piguet
The Trinity Is Not a Ranking
The Trinity Is Not a Ranking
15
Jaeger-LeCoultre · Master Control Chronomètre
Two Doors to the Connoisseur
Nobody across the room will recognise either of these watches. Both brands are charging CHF 15,000 for exactly that.
16
Patek Philippe
Begin Your Own Tradition: Patek's iconic slogan was a response to Audemars Piguet
Patek's most famous slogan was a quiet answer to Audemars Piguet. Almost nobody knows it.
17
Industry
The Electric Car Is Quartz
In the 1970s a cheap technology arrived that told the time better than any mechanical watch, and it nearly killed Swiss watchmaking overnigh…
18
Credor
Beauty Is Not a Position - Credor needs a legible catalogue
There is a reason no one outside Japan cares about Credor. And it isn't the watchmaking — the watchmaking is extraordinary. On pure craft, C…
19
Vacheron Constantin · Quai de l’Île
The Vacheron Quai de l'Île - when Vacheron spoke in a register it cannot carry
In 2008 Vacheron Constantin did something it almost never does: it tried to win a buyer who hadn't already arrived at the brand.
20
Tudor · Monarch
Conviction Cosplay
Extensions fail when they stray too far from what a brand actually is. That is the rule, and the new Tudor Monarch breaks it twice — once on…
21
Patek Philippe · Calatrava
The Soul-Keeper
The most important Patek is the one nobody queues for.
22
Ulysse Nardin · Freak
The Door Everyone Walked Through
Ulysse Nardin built the door that everyone else walked through
23
Grand Seiko
Grand Seiko has no soul-keeper and it is a problem
Every great house keeps a soul-keeper — the one watch that tells you what the brand truly is once the hype burns off.
24
Jaeger-LeCoultre · Polaris
Sequencing Is Everything
A confident house extending its range — or an uncertain house chasing a category?
25
Rolex
Two Souls, One Funeral
Every brand has a soul-keeper — the one watch that shows what it truly is once the hype burns off, the watch that holds the essence while th…
26
Seiko · Gene Kranz reissue
History Without the Tax
Seiko spends its life fighting the dial. The name reads as mass-market, the watches are often too big, too thick, too over-styled, scattered…
27
Audemars Piguet · Royal Oak
The One-Watch House
In 1972 Audemars Piguet did something close to reckless. It took stainless steel — the metal of tool watches and tin cans — and asked gold m…
28
Omega · Speedmaster
The Spec Sheet and the Feeling
The mechanical case is not the problem. The Co-Axial escapement is the most significant change to Swiss lever geometry in over a century. Th…
29
Jaeger-LeCoultre · Geophysic True Second
The Watch Only the Wearer Understands
A brand can survive being overlooked. Jaeger-LeCoultre has done it for decades. The harder question is whether it can survive being understo…
30
Audemars Piguet · Millenary
The Oval They Never Saw
Audemars Piguet has only ever needed one watch, so it never learned what to do with the others.
31
Jaeger-LeCoultre · Master Compressor
Costume, Not Conviction
The Master Compressor was JLC answering a question nobody should have asked it: what if the most refined movement-maker in Switzerland made…
32
Jaeger-LeCoultre · Master Control
Reverence Is Not Demand
Everyone respects Jaeger-LeCoultre. Some buy it. That sentence is the whole problem — and it is stranger than it sounds.
33
Vacheron Constantin · Overseas (first generation)
Polished Where No One Looks
People arrive at Vacheron last. [the Royal Oak](/haikus/008-ap-royal-oak/), the Nautilus to prove they could. Years later they arrive at the…
34
Seiko
Friction Dressed as Choice
Seiko is the most accomplished mass watchmaker in the world and the most strategically confused. The technical credentials are not in questi…